Professor Mary Luti wrote, in this morning’s StillSpeaking Devotional of the capacity for evil and violence in each of us.

So what  Prof. Luti is saying is “It could have been me.”  “There but for the Grace of God, go I.”  “We’re all more same than different.”   Some of us don’t want to remember that.  Some of us, the moral majority or the “good Christians” or the “practicing Jews” want to think we are no longer capable of such.

And then I remember Dietrich Bonhoeffer, who decided (with others) that it would be best to kill Hitler – to kill the evil one and stop the killing of the innocent ones.  Bonhoeffer’s writings are brilliant.  His theology touches my soul.  Yet he was an attempted murderer.  We’re all more same than different.

Ever-renewing Energy,

What an amazing creator you are.  To have allowed humans to be sentient; thinking, reason, deciding.  To have allowed humans to decide between evil and good; free will.  I don’t care if you made one Adam and one Eve or if we came through evolution or mutation, it’s still very cool what you’ve done.  Maybe you experimented: let me try this – oops, no Sodomites need to be wiped out!  How about this?  Nope, gonna wipe it out with a flood.  (Today in the middle west, millions of worms are being wiped  out due to the amount of  rain we’ve received in the last day!  What will the robins eat?  Maybe soggy worms…  maybe that’s what you wanted…  interesting.)  Maybe you don’t get involved at the micro-level.  Maybe you do.  Maybe you weep when even the least of your plans needs to be crossed off your endless list of possibilities.

Yet, you continue.  Maybe you just can’t help it.  Maybe what you are means you just keep creating.

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Maybe you set out to make exactly me, and watch what happened from the time my parents got the right cells together to start me.  Maybe you laugh along with me when the joy can’t be contained anymore.  Maybe you clap when I go to the doctor and am taken off a medication.  That would be pretty nifty.  I would adore you anyway…  just because of what or who you are, but I think I would like you, too.  Maybe I’ll find out some day.  Maybe I won’t.  Maybe I won’t even care.  Maybe it will be like Daisy or Duey when they fall asleep in a ‘down stay’ and then wake up and don’t even remember.  That’d be ok.  Oh, wait, anything you do would be ok with me because it’s you, God.  And you’re amazing.  But this was a  fun little meditation; a little frolic and detour.  And it’s a rainy kind of morning when that kind of musing is entertaining.  To you too?  Amazing!

OK, God, let me get down to it.

All-knowing Architect,

What’s up with Amy again?  Why can’t the Lupus calm itself and let her stay out of the ICU?  So she didn’t have another seizure, that’s great!  But now, she got out of bed and fell?  And then she fell again.  And then they took her back to the ICU.  Please, please, please, be the doctors.  Be the medicine.  Be the technology.  Inspire the whole team of people caring for Amy, please.  Please?

And poor Doug and Jill and Paula and Julie!  Please hold on to them; enfold them in your arms so they feel your love and your strength.  Lord, your sense of time might be very different from ours, and this feels like such a long time!  And Amy gets a little bit better and then something else happens.  How can they not be disappointed and frustrated?  How can they not be crying “again?!?!  Seriously?!?”  And how can they continue to trust and be faithful servants through this?  How can they not be consumed with the question “WHY?”

Please, Lord, be with them.  Nourish them with the memory of Job.  Remind them that it’s not about the why, it’s about the what and the with whom.  Help them to remember to love mercy and seek justice and walk humbly with you.  Help them remember that there will be good days again.  Help them to know your peace.  Give them times of respite, maybe with prayer and meditation.  Help them to take their thinking minds off this for a little while and rest.

I bring Susan to you again, today.  I pray you’ve allowed her the medication to dull the pain from her back injury. Send your warmth and healing energy to her, please Lord.

I pray for Steve, home sick from work with the bug going around.  Give him rest and rebuild his systems. Give him a sunny attitude in the midst of this storm.

And now my mind goes back to Prof. Luti’s devotional from this morning.  It could be any of us.  We could have built pressure cooker bombs and left them near the finish line of a marathon.  Or blown up someone/something in the middle east and just happen to kill people who were walking along and weren’t the targets at all.

Some places have more violence than others.  I remember when Steve and I were talking about a honeymoon and I wanted to go to Ireland and Steve thought it was too dangerous.  And I’m reading Eat Pray Love and in Bali there was horrid violence within the last century and now it’s back to being thought of an idyllic paradise.

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Lord, here’s my plan (and I know it’s meager and flawed):  I’m going to live praising you and go where I wish – even in the valley of the shadow of death.  You’ll be with me, I know that.  I’m going to live my life with as much joy as I can muster and as much kindness as I can share.

Continuous Creator,

Wherever I go, you’re there with me.  Whatever I think, you are the source.  Whatever I have, you made.  Thank you for daffodils and forsythia.  Thank you for cold and heat.  Thank you for sun and for darkness.  Thank you for rest and work.  Thank you for friends and love and community.  Thank you for all the things and people that remind me of you.  I love you so much!  And

I pray in Jesus’ name,

Amen.

To God be the glory!

Melissa Pazen © 2013

Live Inspired:  pray continually; think boldly; dare greatly; love unconditionally; act deliberately, kindly, justly, mercifully and humbly; forgive easily; laugh frequently!

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